One of the most heart breaking bits of life, is when you realize that all the time you spent wanting to go back to your "old life", was a waste of time. Knowing that as the years change, my old life gets farther out of reach is when it hit me. I know that I cannot simply go back to the way things used to be. In my heart I feel that things have not changed, even though for me things have surely changed. It is not fair for me to expect all the old things to be as I remember, when I myself am not the same as I once then.

Hard to understand?

I feel that if I do try to go back, that I will be dissappointed.
"Was that building always here?".
"When did they move?".

But, will that be enough to stop me from trying to get back to the old ways? Is my dream of having nothing change from the past going to be the end of me? What about having frozen memories that I want to press "play" to start over? Will people even be able to think of me as I used to be?

All questions to be answered later. I just hope it does not hurt too bad.